touchedarling

My gosh, I haven't updated this in the longest time. I've really not been paying too much attention to LJ since I've moved. Livejournal is so busy, my friends list is so big, and my mobile internet is so slow it just constantly craps out when I log on here, but it seems to be pretty stable just now so thought I'd run on and say hi!

The move at the end of last summer went really well. I'm living alone in Carnoustie now, it's a really friendly place but there aren't enough people my age to spend enough time with, such is life. Right now I'm learning to drive and I'm taking classes in dog obedience and ringmaster classes which is a good way to meet like-minded people, there's a few girls my age that go so that's something I guess. But I'm not really very good at the dog classes, I guess I'm not as dedicated as everyone else is, I use it as more of a social thing than anything else. Harlow did come 2nd in her first show though so I guess maybe I'm not that crap at it!


& I've decided to do a beauty therapy course at college this summer, which will do me good I guess. Good chance to meet new people, but I can't help worrying that I'll be 25 and they'll probably all be teenager who I have nothing in common with!! :-( but I feel like I've come a long way from where I was a couple of years ago, time to push myself a bit further for a change.


( cut for length rant about lying ex's and their gf's... )

So yeah, that was pretty crap but I guess that's just because men are bastards and apparently their girlfriends are lying attention whores. Oh well. My parents are pretty disgusted with him for accusing me of something like that, but have just been reminding me that I got a lucky escape and to just ignore any future accusations, which is what I intend to do anyway. but like Wes said, when you've been accused of something that's untrue, all you want to do is plead your innocence, but the truth will come out eventually and she'll be shown for the liar that she is. So yeah, I'm laying it out on the table and telling my side of the story because writing about it is kind of cathertic, but after this I won't talk of it again, not to them, not to anyone. I don't think at this point I'm going to talk about boyfriends present and future, because being public over it just leaves you open to this kind of trash happening.

Christmas and New Year was gooooooood. My parents got me a new 32GB Zen player which was unexpected, I didn't really expect expensive gifts at this age, but I'm so grateful because mine broke last summer and I've been lost without it! Then I got the usual clothes/shoes/boots/bits&bobs as an added bonus lol. We spent xmas at my eldest brother's home which we've never done before, it was a nice change lol.

Healthwise, it's been shakey. I've had spells where everythings been great and suddenly I get a huge flare up out of nowhere. I've also had a lot of bleeding between periods (though now they seem to have stopped altogether, joy?) which I was fainting a lot and just generally in a lot of pain and discomfort. I've had 4 ultrasounds done since around September but wasn't offered any treatment to get rid of the cysts, I think I've just been forgotten about now.

My Mum's been the main problem though. About 4 months ago she started struggling with her speech, everytime she opens her mouth to talk, her jaw gets stuck open and she can't close it or say anything and it's really sore and stressful. It's like this all day every day and now she won't do phonecalls or anything for herself, one of us needs to do it for her. Last week she was diagnosed with Dystonia which can spread throughout the body and causes spasms in the muscles, and after next month will be getting botox injections into her jaw muscles (from the inside of the mouth, so it won't iron out any wrinkles lol!). but apparently it's not very easy to treat, or responsive to treatment, so we'll see what happens. Hopefully it will help. Right now her upper jaw muscles have worn away, and could continue to do so but she keeps saying "there's worse things to go through in life than not being able to talk"...though she's not always so blase about it all.




( Can't really upload many decent photographs, so here's some crappy phone photos... )

& how amazing is Taylor Swift? I finally got both her CDs because I kept reading about her on ONTD (mostly negative but it made me curious over who she was) and OHMYGOD. Her lyrics <3 she knows, she just knows what it's like to be truly let down by someone you were in love with. I can't really compare her lyrics to my current life, but she pretty much sums up every relationship I've ever had *sigh* so emo but so true.

Right, think I've moaned on long enough! Do my best to keep active on here though! Hope everyone is ok! and as predicted, now that I've wrote all this out Livejournal won't even load *sigh*. but I shall try another time.


"maybe I was naive, got lost in your eyes
and never really had a chance.
well stupid me, I should have known to be in love
you have to fight to have the upper hand.
I had so many dreams about you and me, happy endings
but now I know...

that I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
& lead her up the stairwell.
this isn't hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around."
Taylor Swift - White Horse.

and this, is Harlow Winter...named by Jason, stolen from Nicole Richie's daughter. She's pretty punk rock.

A 13 week old "hairy hairless" Chinese Crested bitch. So far pretty much all she's done is shake like a leaf and pee only in the house, despite spending lots of today out on walks or in the garden! I swear she saves it up and just let's it flow the second she gets back in the house, what a madam!

She's so...weird. She doesn't even seem like a dog, just a "thing" lol, but she's adorable. Just so shy and timid of everything, our dogs in the past have always been so happy and hyper as soon as we got them, but Harlow's not really like that, she doesn't lick your face or beg for your love all the time..but I'm sure she'll come out of herself in time. It's really strange touching her skin, it's so rough but sooooo warm and she has the dantiest little face. Everytime I look at her I just laugh, it's brilliant.

Everytime Lila looks at her, you just know she's thinking "um...and you're naked because....?"
( new meat, coming through.. )
Oh, and we move out of our house on August 29th.

So..since my last update there's been one loss, and one other canine addition to the household. I feel weird about posting it just now, I hope it doesn't sound like we've just replaced Laney with another dog, because that's not how it's happened at all. Some people who've known me for years know that I've wanted a Chinese Crested dog for years, Lila has been finding it hard sleeping alone and we recently found a breeder who lived close to us and a puppy that seemed suitable..so we brought her home last night. Typically, despite being really down since the loss of her old companion, she's not happy about having to share everything with a new dog..ah, animals, such fussy little buggers :-\

Anyway, more of that later...

Thank you so so much for everyone's support on Laney's passing 3 weeks ago, following 16 months of chemotherapy for Lymphoma cancer. I was really too upset to come on and write any further about it but everyone's messages have been so well recieved and I can't tell you how much of a comfort it was.

It's been a really hard adjustment, the living room just isn't the same without a big, hairy, lazy, lump lying on the sofa and wiping dog snot all over the windows! The house feels so quiet and we'd never truly realised until now how much life and love she brought into our lives.

We've had a really lovely letter from the vet who put her down, he hadn't known her for as long as the other staff had, but he took over the last 6 months of her treatment when the old vet left!
( which I'll put behind a cut here for anyone who wants to read it! )
We bought the vet's and staff some biscuits, sweets, and cards to thank them for all the great work they did for her, and my mum also bought a little toy duck as a gift to the vet's daughter (Daisy) as an extra thank you "because Laney loved children", and they sent back this lovely card which really, really touched us (I'm assuming Daisy's mum wrote it on her behalf since Daisy is only 9 months old :-p)..it just really was so sweet and had us in tears.

Laney was such a special girl. We miss her but we know we did the right thing. 16 extra months with Laney (thanks to her chemotherapy) was such a blessing and we gave her the best quality of life we could for as long as possible, but sadly her time came and she was ready to go. Usually when we took her to the vet's she'd be so distressed (even 2 days before we took her and she'd had to wait outside the building for barking too much and distressing all the other animals in the waiting room!) but when we took her in for the final time there was no response at all. Watching them put her to sleep was the hardest thing, but she just lay down without making a fuss, she didn't whimper when she was given the injection and there was no gasp for a last breath, she just went away peacefully in mine and my mum's arms, I gave her a kiss goodbye on the cheek and she was gone...but I swear she's still with us, maybe not psychically but she's here, always.

( My lovely Laney )
I'll always miss her but I'm learning that I can never feel too sad when I think about her because all she gave us was happiness and in return we gave her the best life any dog could ever hope for <333

Don't worry, I know I sound like a broken record, but I felt she was deserving of one final entry in here, and later on I'm going to post some of my favourite photos of her in the doggy communities, because she deserves to be admired by all of LJ's hardcore doggy lovers <33

I took these yesterday afternoon, knowing they would be the last photos I'd ever take of her.

In 2 hours time, she'll be put to sleep.

Thank you all so much for your kind comments. I do not know how I'm going to say goodbye, but Lord knows I have to find the strength from somewhere.



"Heaven is a place nearby
So I won't be so far away.
And if you try and look for me
Maybe you'll find me someday.
Heaven is a place nearby
So there's no need to say goodbye
I wanna ask you not to cry
I'll always be by your side."

This morning, the tears can't seem to stop. I think in the next 2 or 3 weeks, we're going to have to make a very big decision. & I think we're going to be kind. I don't think she's going to still be here in a month, infact I think there's a huge chance that she won't be here in a matter of days. and it's just hitting me. I just want this all to end, it's too much.

My God, I'm going to miss her so much.

I feel like a blog post is well overdue! I've really gotten out of the knack of updating, it seems like the longer I keep away from blogging the harder it is to get into!





I'd hoped by now that we would've sold up and moved into the new mobile homes already but it's just not happened! We've had a few people who wanted to buy the house but they hadn't been able to sell theirs, it seems like the market in general has just come to a halt, but fingers crossed it won't be too long until it finally sells, I'm dying to just get over to Carnoustie for a fresh new life. Anstruther is beautiful, but the people over in Carnoustie all seem very friendly and it'll just be nice to be somewhere new and hopefully start again! I'm really hoping that once we get settled in and I've been able to come off my steroids that I'll be able to just feel confident enough to get a job and a new life. I think after last time I updated I had a bad spell when I decreased the steroids again, so I increased them back up again and my DR has told me that I should maybe put off decreasing them again until I move, she's not sure my body will stabilise if I try to decrease them or come off them in the middle of moving house, because of all the excitement/anxiety that comes with starting somewhere new. I want to try and go down just by another 1mg later this month so we shall see, hopefully it won't unsettle anything! It's such a pain, everytime I think I've gotten the condition under control and try to lower the dosage, it seems like the disease just threatens to come back into full swing, I hate that unstableness, I wan't to move on in life. but I think if it does come back permanently again, I will cope much better with it and I won't let my agoraphobia take ahold of me again either..there's too much to look forward to.



Anyway, onto brighter things. Laney is doing well on her chemotherapy maintainence treatments. I can't believe she's been having it for over a year, we really didn't expect her to last this long, even if her cancer had gone into remission we were told that she'd only have 9-12 months with us. The cancer hasn't gone into remission, yet she's still alive and kicking. She's doing so so good. She's such a happy dog and I think it makes a huge difference to her health, she enjoys her walks and her rabbit chasing and it seems to be enough to keep her going, it's hard to believe that her time left with us is so limited. But fingers crossed that we all stay positive and that we have another nice summer with her! :)



It's been decided that when we move, I'll only be taking Lila and Sebastian with me, and I'll be giving my parents Miss Kitty Fantastico (obviously Laney goes with them too!) because I don't think the place is big enough for all 3 of them, especially because Kitty and Sebby just don't get on anymore lol, and also because I think when Laney's time does come to pass, they'd be too lonely if they didn't have any other pets. I've also recently bought a rather huge tropical aquarium too, despite being afraid of fish and still not having the room for one..but I'm not unpacking that until after the house move!





Craig and I have been together a month and a half now, and things are progressing along wonderfully. He's unlocked a whole side of me that I never even knew existed, it appears I am actually quite the outdoors girl, I just needed someone to tell me! If you'd told me a couple of months ago that I'd actually enjoy walking on rocks and sleeping outdoors I would have just laughed. and never stopped. There's been hysterical tears, pouty tantrums, some very questionable movie choices and endless amounts of sweets, but it's all been very wonderful really. I've never felt so comfortable and confident and I've done things and felt things I didn't think I would be capable of. We even did an 8 mile 'warm up' coastal walk, which is generally unthinkable for an agoraphobia/IC'er but he manages to stay calm when I feel anxious and he makes me realise I really shouldn't be scared of such simple things because I'm not alone in doing them. I'm really looking forward to finding out what adventures the future holds for us.

& there's good times of the non-romantic kind ahead too, my aunt and uncle are up from Yorkshire for the week, and I'm meeting up with Shaz on the Wednesday to see the Sex and the City movie right before my birthday on the 30th (!! 24 years old, nooooo!! don't make me grow up :-(!!) it should be good times, it'll be nice to see them all again! Life is good, the sun has been shining every day and, Fife has never looked more beautiful than it has this month, I'm loving it. The time is coming to bring on the summer dresses!


Anyway, if you haven't already, add me on facebook!
( & I shall leave you with mindless photospamming.. )

So, less than a year of moving house, and our house is going back on the market again. My oldest brother was looking for somewhere more affordable to live than Dundee because his mortgage was crazy high, he was managing it, but being diabetic if he ever took ill, he'd have no chance in hell of being able to afford to keep his place. Then there was an advert for a private community in Carnoustie selling mobile homes. Obv fully plumbed, insulated, central heating, water mains and phonelines etc. My brother thought they sounded cool, liked the idea of being able to sell his flat and buy a home outright, no mortgage (and no council tax since it's in a private community) and was curious...

....to cut a long story short, both he and my parents thought they seemed really good for the money, so aswell as my brother buying his for him to live in, my parents have no decided to sell our house, and buy 3 mobile homes (one each for me and my brother, the 3rd for my parents). Seriously. It's insane. I was really disgusted and upset at first, but we went to see them yesterday and I have to admit they're fairly cool. All 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms which is cute and they're much bigger than I expected, bigger than my Aunts bungalows' are. It's strange, at first I just thought they'd be overpriced caravans but they're really well structured and warm. It's scary though, leaving such an amazing house behind :-( the thing I'll miss most is my wardrobe, I don't know what I'm gonna do without so much storage :-(

It's going to be so different, I don't really want to move..it's a nice place though. There's a gym and beauty spa being built which will be handy, and there's a pub..which I think I'll enjoy more than the local pubs here. The entire park being gated means only residents within the grounds can use the pub/gym/spa, so I imagine it'll be a lot more friendlier and civilised compared to Anstruther's pubs, I'm so quiet I just panic in pubs because everyone's so loud and I'm such a weirdo.

Living nextdoor to me will be a girl around my age which will be good. Here I can go weeks without seeing anyone my age so I suppose it'll be cool living in a more sociable area and there's a trainstation there too which will be great! plus it means I can buy the big fish I want from Leven because my Dad can no longer say "no more pets under MY roof, you can wait until you have your own place before you bring anymore animals into this house!"..no bad thing. Lila and Sebby I'll keep, but I'm going to give Miss Kitty to my parents because A) she hates me/everyone, B)her and Bastard fight non-stop and it's gotten really ugly lately, they can't be left alone together and C) I just don't think I could handle Lila and both the cats running all over the place. I'll keep the laptop but I'm gonna have my PC in my parents place because all it does is sit in my wardrobe anyway, but I won't have the room for it when we move :-( my big mirror is going to have to go too - SICKENED!

Tomorrow me and rougebaisers are going to shop our hearts out in Dundee which I'm excited about! Remind me I want to look for slouchy black legwarmers in Accessorize because I saw some in St Andrews yesterday and really regret not buying them! It'll be good to see Shaz and I'm really gagging to get to the stores again, but I'm dreading the weather because it's been pissing down all day today and it's due to get worse tomorrow :-( I'm gonna try not to buy things I don't really need, so hopefully I'll stick to; new wallet, legwarmers, Dior lipstick and stockings. keep control of me please Shaz..unless I see something really good!

Pictures of the new pads, but there's only a couple of photos. My battery died really early on and most of my photos were of ones we didn't bother buying :-( most of them are the ones from the websites but they have the same furnishings. Paid the deposits yesterday, which means they will hold the spots indefinitely until our house and my brothers sell! Ours is being valued on Thursday so hopefully will be officially up for sale next week. God, just when I finally thought I'd seen the last having to show strangers round our house! & when I eventually want to settle down and move location, I can sell it and use the money as a deposit on a family house which is sweet.

They all look pretty generic at the moment, I can't wait to decorate but now I don't know if I want my new bedroom to have the same wallpaper as I have now, because that decor still feels new to me but I feel like I should have a fresh new look to go with having a fresh new location.

( mine first... )

Long time no update! Hope everyone had a great Christmas! Sorry I didn't really do cards this year for the most part.

Ours was okay, just spent the day with the family. My brother came over for it and he took me out driving on Christmas day which was by far my favourite thing! I drove from St Monans to Elie and back..and didn't tell him until we were half way along the road that it was my first time driving on the main road haha. but I was pretty rubbish at concentrating on driving straight and not so good at breaking or turning round..there was a lot of him grabbing the steering wheel and shouting...but we had so much fun. We never do stuff together so I hope we carry on doing it again whenever I see him!

It was an emotionally charged week. All down to men as usual. I dunno, I've had a lot of my mind I suppose. Me and Graham are currently broken up but still friends...it's strange....my relationships seem to get shorter each time..I guess we just rushed things too fast and it all got a bit too heavy too soon. We're just gonna get to know each other properly I guess at the moment. I wish we could get back together one day. I've been really down over it, my Mum think's I'm confusing my feelings for Graham with how I felt for Gordon and how badly I took it when he broke up with me. Christmas day, I was clearing out my wardrobe (to make room for newly aquired things) and I found a shirt I'd bought Gordon in JULY, intending to give it him for Christmas (oh, so naive and optimistic, I probably deserved to have it backfire on me!). I'd forgot I even had it, I can't believe I didn't throw it out. It put me in such a yucky mood. I don't still feel anything for Gordon, it's just how he made me feel about myself. I've never been able to recover from how we broke up and I suppose I just didn't expect to find someone so soon that I'd end up trusting and doting on just as much. So I became too clingy too soon. I just got carried away that someone so cool would want me despite all my flaws and issues. Having to deal with such a huge rejection again is so rubbish. I didn't see it coming and I should have known that girls like me don't get that lucky. "If it seems too good to be true it probably is", right? It's weird. I guess I'm a weird girl.


I guess there's just a lot of things I need to address before my next relationship. So much emotional baggage, no wonder I'm alone! My God, I really am a lot more negative than I realised. It's just strange. People always mean so much more to me than I do to them (by "people" I mostly mean guys lol). No men ever seem to really value me but I don't really understand why, because I think as negative as I am when I'm on my own, when I'm spending time with people I'm really not like that. I'm good person who just cares a lot for people.

I finished the Calendar in the nick of time this year, I'm not exactly thrilled with it - too rushed and the photos aren't themed very well. but my Mum likes it which is the main thing I guess. I kept Laney to the first few months of the year, because it's more likely she'll lose her battle with cancer sooner rather than later and I think my Mum would get upset at seeing her face on the Calendar for the rest of the year :-(
( check it out! )
Really would be cheaper to just buy them though for what you end up wasting on ink and paper while you're tossing around and doing test sheets, grrr!

Christmas was good though, it's always nice spending time with the family and playing stupid games together that we never normally do. Especially when my brother breaks out the Wii, we never usually play it together but we should because it's good times (especially since I am the Wii bowling champion!). Everyone seemed to like the gifts I got them which was good. I was really stressed out over it, and I got some amazing presents in return!

I won't miss the opportunity to spam you all with more photos than you could shake a stick at. Apologies for how gross I look in these, I coloured my hair and it's still not gone back to blonde. I feel so butch and frumpy with darker hair. Some of these photos are the result of sale (& non sale) shopping too!

Gingerbread house haha, tasted stale though.


( PHOTOS galore )

What's everyone got planned for New Year? I feel like I'm not in the mood to join in this year and not have anyone to make out with at midnight. I've been invited out with Shelley and co. but honestly I'd rather stay in, watch Jools Holland and sleep through the whole shenanigans..but I do have my dress to wear so I suppose I should force myself to go out and enjoy myself!


Oh, this is Oscar - well, that's probably not his name (and if it was he probably wouldn't know because fish don't really get the whole concept of names..) He's my new obsession. I am DESPERATE to buy him. Seriously. even though I'm terrified of fish haha! If you live near Acorn in Leven then you should head on over and meet him. He's such a big star, so you'd better get in quick before he becomes to big to swim for the commoners like you and me. My love for him has even got to the point where I dreamt my Dad bought him me for Christmas. He's like, bigger than my entire hand but I'm sure he's a sweet as a teddybear (though probably not to all the "regular" sized fishies). Oh Oscar, you are one hell of a goldfish.

1-Did you kiss anyone?
Of course!.

2-Did you date anyone?
I did indeed, a few!

3-Are you going to kiss someone when the ball drops?
No, I don't want to kiss anyone new lol. Bsides which, I feel pretty sure all men will leave the room or make up with each other instead when they notice I'm the only girl left with no one to kiss!
( etc, etc )

Jesus Christ why oh why am I eating ice lollies in November when I'm already shivering from the cold? Nooooo, I hate Scottish winters :-( I'm so thankful to have my cosy laptop keep my thighs warm! Definitely a winter necessity! That and my Uggs, God I'm so glad I caved in and got them this year, the only problem is they're going to be worn out by the time I actually want to wear them outside.

I've been feeling very smug with myself this week for being the first person I know who's finished all her Christmas shopping! Rock on! It's such a weight off my mind and I'm really happy with what I've bought everyone this year..er..except with the radio controlled aeroplane I bought my Dad, that will probably never get used. But he's so hard to buy for and I figure since he's made a career out of his love of planes it was kind of appropriate?

Although my Mum's present is a little "iffy" too, not the actual present, just the fact that it hasn't arrived yet despite being ordered from M&S website over a month ago! Grrr! It kept getting delayed over and over again, then had a delivery date for today but it still hasn't turned up, I've already bought her something to go with it but at the rate M&S is going just now it looks like I might have to think of a new main present for her *sigh* Normally she's easy to buy for, but this Christmas there's been a strict "no Radley's" plea from her which has caused a lot of extra hassle! Hmm, maybe I don't have as much reason to be snug as I thought I did?

My weight is still a constant pain just now, I'm trying to gain a little bit more - mainly because I want some extra body fat to keep me warm! - but it's just not happening. My appetite is still really low and I've been getting a lot of stomach cramps. It's really annoying because after getting rid of a lot of my size 8 (US 2) wardrobe and replacing it with 10's, I'm now finding that I'm too small for most things I own now, but I feel like I can't buy any new size 8 clothes incase I do finally start managing to gain a few lbs over the Christmas period and then outgrow them in a matter of weeks! I feel so out of proportion though, my waist is 25" and my hips are 32", it's complete bollocks! I look so weird :-(

Although one person who isn't complaining about the way I look is my new beau, Graham! Oh yes, back in the dating game again. We met online because we're both so cool like that. We exchanged messages, then last Saturday he decided to take a wee drive upto Scotland to spend the weekend with yours truly.

We got on so so good, it was like we'd known each other ages.We met up in St Andrews, where we managed to have a total of 3 courses in 2 restuarants, without actually eating the food we paid for because we were both so nervous! And I introduced him to Burn's Sweet Shop, because we are both sugar addicts. I think this is what won him over, that place is so heavenly, it beats Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory any day of the week.

Afterwards I dragged him back to mine to meet all my animals and the parents and he got on so well with them (there was a bit of relucatance from Laney, but he won her over in the end), then we spent the rest of the weekend holed up in my room (my poor Dad! his daughter inviting a cyber-stranger into her bed on the first visit!) and Sunday afternoon was spent freezing our noses off because for some reason I decided a rather windy winters day was the perfect time to take someone to the Elie beach! We didn't stay long though because he had a long journey back to Carlisle to face :-(

He'll be up again mid-December, and be here for Christmas we think, possibly New Year? He's dying to get me down to his folks so we shall we, he said he'd drive up and collect me, or get the train to Leuchars and hold my hand on the way there, then come back with me on my way home too, aww! I'm glad my freaky little ways and travel phobia don't bother him. And he always talks as though it's "our" problem, rather than just mine which is nice. He tells me it doesn't bother him and not to be embarrassed over my IC which is cool..especially since he says it in a rather posh English accent! Booooo Scottish boys, your accents are so inferior!

We just fit together really well and things are progressing quite fast, but it's really lovely. He makes me feel so comfortable and he has a lot of compassion and is just a very honest and trustworthy person. & he showered me with compliments, even when my hair was all curly and my face was all blotchy without makeup. Just what I need! I really miss him and can't wait to see him again. I've been wearing his tshirt in bed every night since he left and it's starting to smell really sweaty but it's still my favourite smell in the whole world right now.


( Read more... )
Though I guess this means I now have an extra person to buy for this Christmas, eeeee!

Loving being single just now. For some reason this week I seem to be getting a lot more male attention when I'm out. I coloured my hair last week so maybe gentlemen don't prefer (bleached) blondes afterall, ha.

Had my 2nd lot of blood test results this week, everything was A-OK except for my iron which was at 26 when it should be between 60 and 100 :-\ I'm not fainting like crazy like I was when I was first diagnosed as being anaemic though and I've been taking iron drinking sachets each day and eating lots of greens, so she's just going to keep an eye on me.

My weight's gone down to 7.5 stone now (105lbs). I'd take this opportunity to moan about how much I hate being so skinny again, but you all know as soon as I gain another lb I'll moan about that too. My DRs told me to do the "5 small meals a day" thing but I can barely find the appetite to eat one small meal a day. I've to go back in 4 weeks to see if I've managed to gain anymore *sigh*..

Pets are all fine except Laney's had diahorrea yesterday and today so we hope she's not starting to deteriorate too much at the minute. & Miss Kitty's been having some 'behavioural problems' lately too. Lots of spitting, hissing, growling and running away (and telling her she's a "BAD CAT!" doesn't seem to make any difference to her). I took her to the vets but all he did was feel her tummy, shove a thermometor up her ass, give us 2 sachets of specialist cat food and charge us £37...

I've almost finished my Christmas shopping, 3 more presents to go! I'm so ahead of things this year - I put everyone to great shame!

Deb's moves back to Scotland on the 19th, HELL YEAH! Such good news. Too bad she's moving to Falkirk though but I suppose if I do visit her it's unlikely I'd run into G anyway, I'd feel sick if I ever ran into him again, he really hurt me a lot. Daz is home just now for a week and is leaving the army soon, it sucks that someone I hate so much and disrespected me so bad is going to be back in Anstruther full time. NOT IMPRESSED. & I suppose I'll have no choice but to have to find a way to be civil for Elaine's sake. Douchebag. At least after being with Gordon it's made me realise how I must have been desperate to have ever wanted to spend time with Darren, all he did was bore me stupid and mess around with my head. & I'm still avoiding Kevin like the plague because I just can't stand the awkward "so you gonna come round later??" thing he kept doing everytime I ran into him last month.

..MEN! Seriously I think from now on I should only take part in long distance relationships because I have such problems with having to face guys after things turn sour.



Make up has replaced clothes as my favourite thing to buy. I really can't resist those "buy any two pieces and we'll give you a bunch of junk you'll never use for free" gift offers! I really haven't bought much in the way of new clothes for ages! Apart from my cheapo River Island coat above, which is so comfy but appalling quality and I've already had to sew ALL the buttons back onto it.
( just pointless photo whoring )
Just about done with keeping up to date on LJ now to be honest, add me to facebook if you're on there ("Lindsay Boyd", there's not many of us on there!)

Cheers to everyone who's added me! Just a quick catch up because if I go into depth of the past few months I'll never stop writing!

Sorry I've been abscent from LJ for so long, I've just really fallen out of habit with it. Things are going okay since I closed my old journal down.

I'm now single again which was very difficult for a long time, but now I'm really happy with how things are so it's all good. I wish we'd been able to stay civil and be friends, maybe one day, but right now life is going good regardless. I had a pretty horrendous time last night with an old crush but other than that I haven't really thought too much about dating again, there's definitely a lacking of special guys, in Anstruther at least!

Laney has finished her chemotherapy and is currently having maintainence treatment (meaning she gets fortnightly injections and daily anti-sickness pills). Unfortunately her cancer didn't go into remission so it's just a matter of time now and we really don't know how much time we can expect to have left with her, we're playing it by ear and just taking each day as it comes.

The new house is alright, it's a big downsize but it's easier for my Mum to manage! I finally got my room decorated last month. It's quite good, I can see myself getting sick of the wallpaper pretty soon but I love it just now!


( pets & new room, that's about it! )